Things They Never Said
The Stage Manager
It looks as though there’ll be time for a third dress rehearsal.
Take your time setting back.
There’s plenty of room for more lanterns over here.
We’ve been ready for hours.
The head-sets are working perfectly.
The cue lights are working perfectly.
I can’t hear the band.
The band have no complaints.
The whole company are standing by whenever you want them.
That didn’t last long.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
The Producer
Of course there’s enough money to go around.
We have money left over.
I must put all the crew in the program.
No I don’t have a mobile phone.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
The Director
Wow, the designers were right on, weren’t they?
I must thank the crew.
No, today is the tech rehearsal, we’ll work on that later.
I think the scene changes are too fast.
I’m happy with everything.
The crew? Why they’re just wonderful we couldn’t do the show without them.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
The Designer
Of course my plan was in on time.
Yes it absolutely is my fault that the set looks awful.
You know, you might have a point there.
The director knows best, obviously I wasn’t giving him what he wants.
This wall doesn’t need to be large.
I’d love to help with the build.
We have too many gel colours in stock, I can’t choose.
I have lots of spare instruments.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
The Actor
Don’t let’s talk about me.
I really think my big scene should be cut.
This costume is so comfortable.
I love my shoes.
No problem – I can do that for myself.
No problem.
I have a fantastic agent.
I have no prospects of work for the foreseeable future.
Let me stand down here with my back to the audience.
Without the crew the show would never run – let’s thank them.
I’m sure someone told me there was a wall here, I just forgot.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
The Stage Crew.
That lantern is not in the way.
It may take a moment – I want to be sure the booms haven’t been knocked.
We’ll get in early tomorrow and do it.
No, no. I’m sure that’s our job.
Anything I can do to help?
All the tools are carefully locked away.
Can we do that scene change again please?
It’s a marvellous show.
I don’t need this many on the crew.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
The Build Crew
This is the most complete and informative set of drawings I’ve ever seen.
We built it right the first time.
I love designers.
I’m sure this wall should be bigger
Everything we be ready by Sunday
Thanks, but I don’t drink
The Electrics Crew.
I must mend the kettle in the publicity office.
This equipment is more complicated than we need.
Of course I can operate sound from here.
Be sure to keep that lantern away from the flying pieces.
No problem.
I’ll do that straight away.
All the equipment is working perfectly.
That had nothing to do with the computer – it was my fault.
I have all the equipment I need.
Thanks, but I don’t drink.
Things never said in the playhouse
The masking is perfect
There are plenty of blues
We have loads of empty flybars
I’d love to help with the seating
The PM looks really relaxed
The tech was really short
Everything’s under budget
The actors are all on time
The scene changes are really simple
The tech was smooth and relaxing
No we don’t mind working past last orders
No thanks I don’t drink
