Theatrical Logic

The succinct version

Off is out, out is up, up is back, on is in, in is down, down is forward, left is right, right is left, and everyone works at a strike. Shuddup still means shuddup.

The numerical version

Sound guys count to two, Musicians count to four, Dancers count to eight, but always start at five.

The original full length version

In is down, down is front
Out is up, up is back
Off is out, on is in
And of course-
Left is right and right is left
A drop shouldn’t and a
Block and fall does neither
A prop doesn’t and
A cove has no water
Tripping is OK
A running crew rarely gets anywhere
A purchase line buys you nothing
A trap will not catch anything
A gridiron has nothing to do with football
Strike is work (In fact a lot of work)
And a green room, thank god, usually isn’t
Now that you’re fully versed in Theatrical terms,
Break a leg.
But not really.